It's summer-time for ole' ry-bo. This summer that doesn't mean anything because I have so many freaking things to do. I do have some things that have happened. I saw a bumper sticker with the green mountains (for non-CO's, it is something of a huge deal if you're from colorado (pretty much the opposite of IN), so there are bumper stickers with green mountains that say "NATIVE" in white so everybody knows how awesome you are for not moving here, it's real elitist, arrogant, and state-o-centric) that instead of native said "NO VACANCY". I was pretty excited how unbelievably ridiculous this was. It's completely the thinking that has led to all the ridiculous hatred toward "illegal" immigrants. I'm not going to get started on that whole deal because I get really fired up and it's only 9:40. I don't like to get worked up at least until 1:00 in the afternoon. Then I've got some lunch in my belly and I need something to keep me awake throught the afternoon. Otherwise I fall asleep so fast, you'd think I was some sort of bear that had been living along the same stream for 36 years (I don't know how long bears live). A sleeping pill manufacturer moves in upstream and starts dumping their by-products, which include some of the sleeping agent. All the salmon swim upstream and ingest the sleeping agent. Then I can't believe my luck. Hundreds and hundreds of salmon floating by. But they aren't dead and disease-ridden. They're just in dream-world. I get my pick. I pull out a few dozen every day and eat like a king for a few hours, but then, holy crap, I feel like hibernating so bad. Jeez I'm tired....zzzzzzzz.

Also, I have amazing news. I got a sweet inflatable robot and I can't even describe how amazing it is. It's finally time for me to try to contribute something to the world of short films, so this august, if I have time, I'm going to make a film with my new pal. If I don't have time, I'm going to do it in January when I have a real job. It'll be like a sweet waterfall of juicy juice (100% juice, no preservatives baby).

Well, it's time for me to go to the library. The denver library is so amazing. Yesterday I picked up Bunuel's That Obscure Object of Desire, and I'm rull excited to view it. Speaking of film, Wong Kar Wai is the head jury member at Cannes this year. That means that this will likely be the best Cannes EVER. I know that is an absurd statement with no historical perspective at all, but I don't care. What else can I say when my number one of all time director/writer ever is the leader of the jury? Nothing. There's nothing I can say to express how incredible that will be. Even though it might be hard, I will need to get every one of the films that Wong Kar Wai had any bit of approval for. It's almost like I called him up and he gave me his list of faves for the year. There are good and bad differences. On the good side, there is no language barrier (which is my fault) this way, because there is an English version of the Cannes website. On the bad side, if I did call him and we chatted, maybe we would become friends and I could be his personal assistant. That only happens in perfect-world, where unicorns swim and there are Denver Ted's' everywhere.


Trevor said...

I just posted a sweet comment and then my internet spazzed out and didn't post it. I just wasted a good twenty seconds of my life because of that.

Dan Luebcke said...

Denture Zone Master,

Your take on natives to this land is an offense to those of us who celebrate our hertiage...read your "may day" blog and be lucky we allow illegals like you in this state...finally, I love your show, your brain power is half of Blomberg's which makes you five times more brilliant than me...in addition, WONG KAR WAI...don't transliterate this as I have my translation in my brain and it is dang funny...also, bring your robot to my house and we'll see how he stands up to the J.T. slam and the Noah Bum Rush...also again, Denver Ted's everywhere is an eschatological discussion that you and your brother and me need to have at Denver Ted's and then on to the Brewery Bar for some "quiet time!"